Weekend tomfoolery ...
I'd just like to start off by saying that I absolutely love my PlayStation 3.  I use it every single day, and even though I've owned it for over six months, I constantly find myself in awe of its performance.  Lately, though, I've become quite intrigued by the machine's astounding capabilities (PS3 hardware is used by science-y types for supercomputing, after all) and interested in how I can better utilize them.

To that end, I concluded that I needed to upgrade my system's hard drive.  My PS3 is the "20GB" model, which I bought because it offers full backward compatibility (the ability to play games that were designed for the PlayStation and PlayStation 2 nearly flawlessly, in other words) and wasn't outrageously expensive by PS3 standards.  (Shortly into the PS3's life cycle, Sony realized that the cost of the hardware that allowed the PS3 to be fully backward compatible was contributing to the fact that the company was losing its ass on every PS3 sale, so it replaced said hardware with software emulation that was far lamer and, eventually, ditched PS2 backward compatibility altogether).  The trade-off for this was that the hard drive that came with the system was only 20GB, which is pathetically small if you want your system to function as a media hub.

Fortunately, Sony designed the PS3 to be upgradeable in this regard -- in fact, there are instructions for replacing the hard drive in the manual, and doing so doesn't even void the system's warranty.  So for my birthday, I asked for and received a 250GB hard drive to install in the PS3.

On Friday night, I sat down to begin the transplant with the one tool that the manual said I needed to complete the procedure: a crosshead (Phillips-head) screwdriver.  I skimmed the instructions and came to the conclusion that they were astoundingly simple (generally speaking, replacing a hard drive isn't exactly rocket science), so I cleared off the floor space, unhooked the PS3, removed the hard drive cover, and began to work on removing the screw that holds the hard drive cage in place.

My first attempt yielded nothing in the way of results.  At this point, I decided that my cheap-ass "precision" screwdriver sucked, so I ran out to Menard's and bought a new set.  Problem solved, right?  Um, no.  My new screwdrivers were, in fact, far better (as a general rule, tools that you can grip work better than those that you can't), but the screw still didn't budge.  By this time, I'd stripped the screw pretty thoroughly, so I assessed my options: I could (1) try to cut the head off, thus ruining the screw completely, (2) buy a Dremel saw to cut a large flathead notch in the head, or (3) use a pair of pliers to loosen it the old-fashioned way.  I wanted to avoid (1) at all costs and I absolutely did not trust myself to do (2) correctly, so I went with (3).

Unfortunately, I soon found that all my pliers were too large for this task, so I headed back to Menard's and bought a pair of needle-nose pliers that looked more like forceps than pliers.  I took it home and began to work on the screw, and two hours later, the screw finally came loose.  Seriously ... it took two hours.  The screw was cracked and almost unrecognizeable by the time it finally came out, but by God, it was out.  You should have seen the indentation that it left in the cage ... I would have guessed it was soldered on by some Sony employee with a sick, evil sense of humor, but it appears it was just screwed in really, really, really tightly.

So I was finally able to remove the hard drive cage from the system, which was good because it allowed me to complete my task without risking damage to the PS3 itself.  My next obstacles were the four screws that held the drive itself in the cage.  Four more stripped screws?  Check.  Another hour-and-a-half spent working a tiny pair of needle-nose pliers into small spaces in order to loosen these damnable screws?  Check.  Four more crazily deep indentations in the cage that signify that someone in Japan is the sort of sadist who belongs in a sanitarium for the rest of his natural life?  Check.

The next day, I went to the Home Depot in search of replacement screws, as the five with which I was dealing were ruined.  (I figured that if I showed up at Menard's one more time, the girl who was working the register on the express lane would probably take out a restraining order against me).  They don't sell screws as small as the ones for which I was looking, so I decided to check Best Buy to see if they had any sort of hard drive installation kit that might come with screws of the size that I needed.  They did not, but they did have an electronics repair kit that included a bunch of tools I already have and promised "two different screw sizes," neither of which was visible.  Also, it was $30.  On principle, I passed.  The clerk at Best Buy recommended I check out a computer store in the area, but that store couldn't help me either.  The computer store clerk's exact words: "Nobody has those."  God damn it.

So, long story slightly shorter, I have to order these double-secret mystery screws directly from Sony, and companies that size are never all that concerned about getting replacement parts to humble folks like me in a timely fashion.  So now, I've got a PS3 that's not exactly usable sitting on my floor in exactly the same place I left it on Friday night.  Sure, when the replacement parts get here, it's gonna be on like neckbone, but until then I'm probably going to remain a little peeved about this whole thing.

Oh, and the really hilarious part?  The owner's manual advises the following for when you connect the new hard drive to the cage: "Do not overtighten the screws."  Ha.